


It's a bit like dying

by emmiegrace



Category: Doctor Who
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Ficlet, Light Angst, Regeneration
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-10
Updated: 2017-08-10
Packaged: 2018-12-13 13:46:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 918
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11761170
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emmiegrace/pseuds/emmiegrace
Summary: The (human) Doctor is awoken in the middle of the night when he feels the other half of him leaving- millions of light years away in another universe. Luckily, Rose is there.Regeneration Ficlet that makes everything better.(No Archive Warnings Apply BUT there is a lot of talk about "death"/regeneration)





	It's a bit like dying

It was hard at first.

She loved him, of that she was more sure of than anything else. Every fiber of her being screamed that she loved him from the moment he stepped foot on that beach. 

But it was hard to forget. Hard to forget about that other lonely man, out there somewhere. Too afraid to reach out again, too afraid to get hurt again… and again, and again. A Doctor she wasn’t saving.  _ Who was going to hold his hand now? _ She’d think.

 

A few days after it happened The Doctor -her human doctor- jumps awake, clutching the right side of his chest with one hand and her arm with the other. “He’s leaving.” He breathes, staring straight on at the wall in front of their bed.

Rose sits up, coming to rest her chin on his shoulder, “Who, Doctor? Who’s leaving?” She asks, half genuinely worried, half hoping it’s just a nightmare.

“The Doctor- me- I mean. He’s regenerating… he’s… he’s dying.” In his head deciding the news may be a bit less jarring with impersonal pronouns.

Rose tucks her face further into him as she lets the full weight of the words fall over her. “Dying?” She tilts her head, confused, “I thought it was just like… a new face?”

The Doctor shakes his head a little, and turns to face her, taking both her hands in his. “It’s not  _ dying _ , exactly. But it’s  _ changing _ . I- we- keep the same morals, feelings-” at this the Doctor breaks off to place a kiss at the crown of her head, “-memories, but it’s… different. It’s hard not to think of us as different people sometimes. Even though I remember it all. They’ll just feel like the memories of a different person.”

The face of her first doctor suddenly appears in Rose’s mind and she has to stifle the little gasp that wants to escape. She’s never seen The Doctor like this. So- so lost for words. “Is he alright?” She asks, still unable to stamp down the instinct to protect the man in the blue box. 

The Doctor smiles a little sadly and cups her face like he’s holding the most precious thing in the universe. “He’s sad. He doesn’t want to move on.” He says, like that somehow was an answer. Rose nods anyway.

A few moments tick by before the Doctor sighs again. “He’s gone.” He says simply.

“How do you know?” Rose asks, pulling him closer, trying not to feel like she’s mourning.

“There was always this… weight… on the right side of my chest. The other half of me reaching through the universe. But it’s not- it’s just… gone.” He explains, boring holes into the wall again. Rose lets that hang in the air a few moments, fighting back tears as she does. 

But then suddenly- “Oh- Oh wait! No- Hold on!” The Doctor suddenly exclaims, sounding very much like he often did on the TARDIS all those years ago. “I’m whole!” He exclaims, grinning like a child toward Rose.

“What do you mean, Doctor?” Rose suddenly finding herself swept up in the worry that not only has he been ‘incomplete’ this whole time, but also that he’s suddenly wholly Time Lord again and she’s gonna lose him again… and again, and again-

The Doctor seems to read all of that in her eyes, and cups her face with both of his hands again, planting a kiss on her lips, one full of everything he’s suddenly feeling. “No no no no no no no, Rose!” He practically yells- trying to get her to  _ understand _ . “That little bit! That little part that didn’t make it over the first time! It’s here! I’m here! I’m not anywhere else but  _ here _ , Rose!” He kisses the daylights out of her again, breaking it off with a laugh she joins in on.

Rose places her hand over his heart, “Still only one of these though, yeah?” She has to make sure.

He’s grinning like a maniac as he places his own hand over her smaller one. “Just the one, yeah. Only yours.” He winks cheekily, and Rose can’t help but dissolve into joyous laughter with her Doctor.

 

It was easier after that.

The Doctor, her Doctor, was happier than ever. That weight, that weight that was there from the day she met him years ago with a different face in the basement of a shop- it was gone. He was whole. He was fully, properly, happy.

Yeah, sometimes they’d think: what of The Doctor -the other Doctor- now? But it was harder to worry about someone without a face. For all they knew, the bloke was a complete arse.

“Unlikely, though.” The Doctor will say, everytime Rose mentions it, sounding less and less offended at the notion each time.

“Yeah, maybe he’s  _ ginger _ though.” She’ll joke, biting her lip and raising a brow at him, knowing how to get under his skin.

“Oi! Watch it! You’re gonna come home to find me ginger as can be one day, Rose. You’ll rue the day!”

Rose will shrug. “Always have been interested in Weasleys” She’ll laugh, not really meaning it.

“Have I told you about the time I met witches?” He’ll muse offhandedly, effectively, though not intentionally, moving off topic. “William Shakespeare was there…”

Rose’s eyes will light up, “No!” She’ll exclaim, plopping down on the sofa next to him in clear invitation to begin the storytelling.

“Well…”

 

And just like that. They’re happier than they ever could be.

**Author's Note:**

> I sort of always feel like The Doctor dies in regeneration. It has to be right? The way Ten reacts when he has to? Anyway it's just all too heartbreaking. This just made me feel better by thinking that maybe Ten's "essence" didn't disappear, but went to be with Rose like the duplicate got to.
> 
> Also don't get me wrong. Eleven is actually my doctor. This is no hate. Tenrose is just the real OTP and they need happy.
> 
> (Comments Keep Writers Writing ❤︎)


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